Success through failure.
Learning through failure
Believing that we are capable of improving with experience can positively impact how we cope with failure, including romantic breakups.
The Atlantic article “Why Some People Take Breakups Harder Than Others“, states:
The stories we tell ourselves about rejection… can shape how, and how well, we cope with it… Narratives that explained pivotal decisions (including getting married or divorced, and changing jobs) as moving toward a desired future, rather than escaping an undesirable past, were associated with higher life satisfaction.
Thus, the best way to approach a breakup is to treat the failed relationship as merely a stepping stone toward the ideal relationship. Inversely, the worst way to approach a breakup is to think it shows that something is permanently wrong with you.
The article says that viewing failure as an experience for growth has a positive impact on your ability to succeed. You only get better if you keep trying. This is not limited to with relationship breakups. Learning from failure applies to nearly everything you do in life.
I would add that taking a “failure leads to success” approach is, as far as I’m concerned, the only way to lead a truly fulfilled life. You can’t break down barriers (whether they be mental, physical, your own, or society’s) without experiencing failure along the way.
This extract is from a Times article on helping girls succeed in math and science:
“Failing well is a skill. Letting girls do it gives them critical practice coping with a negative experience. It also gives them the opportunity to develop a kind of confidence and resilience that can only be forged in times of a challenge.”